Monday, 27 September 2010

Monday Musings

Dear California,

You may take our 100 degree weather. Forever. We're glad to send it your way now. But we'll also try to send some rain, too, as a consolation prize. It was an awful week of hot and muggy, and I'm sorry you have to experience our discomfort now. But this too shall pass.

Yep, it's raining today! Even though the weather outside is still warm and muggy, the air conditioned house allows me to wrap myself in a fleecy robe and pretend that it's Fall. H. even made Spiced Apple Cake yesterday! Perhaps I'll try some after lunch. Lovely, lovely day.

When I moved to Virginia in hopes of finding rest and healing, I think I expected immediate relief. Sort of like in cartoons when a harp strums and a character's back is suddenly realigned. But I'm  discovering that healing is a long term process, and many of my bodily ailments are related to my, er, dare I say "misaligned soul". 

For example, my neck pain and back spasms (owowow) directly result from my neurotic drive to be a perfect music student. "Perfect Music Student" became my ultimate end, and since my definition of perfection only involved technical skill, I stopped caring for my physical and emotional well being. Luckily, this lifestyle eventually lead to (a rather gentle) crash 'n burn, and after a "great awakening" with the help of Pa, I am on the road to a more grace-filled life.

I'm giving myself the grace to get lost while driving, read books that I want to read, not finish books I would rather not finish, start projects, not finish projects right away, buy almond butter even though it's more expensive than peanut butter, not beat myself up if I don't walk every day, and even leave the kitchen messy for a whole day. (Yeah, A., unbelievable, isn't it?) 

I'm learning how to feel again, too. I've stopped trying to avoid strong emotions by rationalizing them. Sometimes I'm like my little nanny-ing girls who tell me they just feel SO frustrated, grumpy, disappointed, upset, angry, or sad. No, I won't start having tantrums in the middle of stores. But I will work on not bottling, since bottled emotions, unlike wine, don't really taste better with age.

Well, that's just a rambly blip of all the "non-academic" things I've been learning here. 
 I'm off to be a good student and work on Assignment 1. Baths really are heavenly.
I'll leave you with this Cheery Owl-y Video:

They are my favourite! :)Especially the one in the middle. Ahem. 


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