Monday Musings

Dear California,

You may take our 100 degree weather. Forever. We're glad to send it your way now. But we'll also try to send some rain, too, as a consolation prize. It was an awful week of hot and muggy, and I'm sorry you have to experience our discomfort now. But this too shall pass.

Love,
Virginia

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Yep, it's raining today! Even though the weather outside is still warm and muggy, the air conditioned house allows me to wrap myself in a fleecy robe and pretend that it's Fall. H. even made Spiced Apple Cake yesterday! Perhaps I'll try some after lunch. Lovely, lovely day.

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When I moved to Virginia in hopes of finding rest and healing, I think I expected immediate relief. Sort of like in cartoons when a harp strums and a character's back is suddenly realigned. But I'm  discovering that healing is a long term process, and many of my bodily ailments are related to my, er, dare I say "misaligned soul". 

For example, my neck pain and back spasms (owowow) directly result from my neurotic drive to be a perfect music student. "Perfect Music Student" became my ultimate end, and since my definition of perfection only involved technical skill, I stopped caring for my physical and emotional well being. Luckily, this lifestyle eventually lead to (a rather gentle) crash 'n burn, and after a "great awakening" with the help of Pa, I am on the road to a more grace-filled life.

I'm giving myself the grace to get lost while driving, read books that I want to read, not finish books I would rather not finish, start projects, not finish projects right away, buy almond butter even though it's more expensive than peanut butter, not beat myself up if I don't walk every day, and even leave the kitchen messy for a whole day. (Yeah, A., unbelievable, isn't it?) 

I'm learning how to feel again, too. I've stopped trying to avoid strong emotions by rationalizing them. Sometimes I'm like my little nanny-ing girls who tell me they just feel SO frustrated, grumpy, disappointed, upset, angry, or sad. No, I won't start having tantrums in the middle of stores. But I will work on not bottling, since bottled emotions, unlike wine, don't really taste better with age.

Well, that's just a rambly blip of all the "non-academic" things I've been learning here. 
 

 I'm off to be a good student and work on Assignment 1. Baths really are heavenly.

I'll leave you with this Cheery Owl-y Video:

They are my favourite! :)Especially the one in the middle. Ahem. 

Cheerio!