Well, sometimes life brings you Not-So-Jolly-News. And sometimes you just have to let yourself feel sad about the Not-So-Jolly-News.
Sad, Sad, Sad.
Thankfully, my housemate, H., makes Not-So-Jolly times a bit brighter with Chocolate Cake, Random Dance Parties, and trips to Target. She also makes me Potato, Leek, and Chicken Soup. And she will eat my cookies when I feel overwhelmed for making too many. And she will buy me a new jar of Salsa Authentica when the original jar turned out to be expired. And she will tell me it is okay not to finish University studies until I'm ready. And she will put up with my inability to speak coherently and succinctly when I come home from work. AND she will rub my shoulder blade when it spasms. Oh. I will always remember this.
(H., sorry for all of the "And's". But you are wonderful. Not "and wonderful". Just "wonderful".)
I'm also grateful to my parents for teaching me and my sister to keep active in the midst of sad times. (The kitchen looked immaculate last Sunday, by the way. Thank goodness for stainless steel cleaner.) I cleaned, took walks, went grocery and sock shopping, folded several loads of laundry, and so forth. But after a day full of "activity", I realized that being "active" also includes allowing yourself time to grieve. (A box of tissues is handy at this point.)
On a whim, I began reading Revelations of Divine Love by Dame Julian of Norwich. (Good decision.) In my silly Owlish insecurity, I first approached the text with an agenda to analyze and form academic paper topics. Um. Yes. Note the "silly" and "insecurity". My agenda was forgotten as I began reading. Perhaps there are times when you need to read just for soulish comfort. Well, this is what I am doing, and soulish comfort I am finding. The commonly quoted "...all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well" begins to make more sense. Well, at least a bit more sense. And the sense is followed by a host of questions. But these are the comforting kind of questions that keep your mind active during holidays.
So here I am, a silly little Owlie living in Virginia. I am still very happy to be here. And I feel that each new sorrow I embrace will increase my capacity to feel new and greater joys. So here's to another week (with more Salsa Authentica, I hope).
(When I expressed to my sister a concern of seeming too sappy, she replied by saying: "I love how their [that of the sappy people?] world is always populated by beautiful people."
Then she told me she was watching a music video. So maybe she was referring to the music video. Either way, I hope my world is populated by beautiful people. As of right now, it's mostly inhabited by squirrels. Oh so many.)